Category: Reviews
-
Way of the Hunter 2 is a Mud-Soaked Lesson in Pain
We’ve played enough hunting sims to know that no one plays them to feel like an action hero. Far from it. We play it to sit in a damp bush for an hour, staring at a patch of dirt, begging a digital elk to walk into your crosshairs before your real-life coffee gets cold. Way…
-
Goblin Cleanup is Viscera Cleanup in a Fantasy Sweatshop
Forget the power fantasy. It’s overrated anyway. We’ve spent thirty years kicking down dungeon doors, massacring dark legions, slaughtering the indigenous wildlife, and stripping chests bare. But, what about the aftermath? Did you ever stop to think about the poor bastards who have to mop up the goblin brains before the next party of try-hards…
-
The Beauty and Brutallity of Morbid Metal
Seven years. Seven years is a long time for a game to be in the oven. Usually, when a solo passion project cooks for that long, it ends up being a bloated and outdated mess by the time it finally comes out. Morbid Metal shouldn’t work. It started back in 2017 as Felix Schade’s college…
-
Animalkind is Stardew Valley in a Caterpillar Tractor
We’re quite certain you didn’t click this for an expert look into the ethics of wildlife operating heavy machinery. If we were betting men, you saw a raccoon driving a walking tank, and your brain immediately dumped serotonin. It’s a ridiculous pitch. Completely absurd. But man, it actually works. Mostly. Welcome to Animalkind! Roll, roll,…
-
Ember Island is an Arcade Meatgrinder
Things were simpler before. Arcade games used to want your quarters. Ember Island just wants to watch you bleed. Grab a beer, buddy. Let’s talk about a game that actively hates you, and why you’re going to play it anyway. In Ember Island, you’re a merc hired to clear out corruption and pocket the loot.…
-
Cursed Blood: Violent and Stress-Relieving Fever Dream
Cursed Blood hands four people virtual katanas. Then, it tells them to go absolutely go bananas and see what happens. Literally. You are playing as a samurai ape. And it simply couldn’t be cooler. It kinda sounds like a bad joke from a 2012 message board. But Cursed Blood doesn’t care about high art or…
-
Last Man Sitting is the Best Damn Office Meeting You’ll Ever Survive
Sooner or later, we all have one of those days. We see red and entertain the idea of taking a twelve-gauge to a Monday morning all-hands. Last Man Sitting actually lets you do it. Well, virtually. And while strapped to an ergonomic mesh chair. It’s loud. It’s undeniably stupid. And God help us, it actually…
-
Legacy of Kain: Ascendance – Nostalgia Over Substance?
Twenty-three years. That’s how long it’s been since Kain and Raziel last traded Shakespearean barbs. Now they’re back. But not in the AAA blockbuster the diehards wanted. Instead, we got a 2D pixel-art platformer that occasionally morphs into a PS1 demake and randomly throws anime at your retinas. It sounds like a rom-hack fever dream.…
-
Cinderia is a Beautiful yet Clunky Engine of Destruction
If I were a betting man, I’d say we’re all getting a bit tired of the apocalypse. Every other week, a new indie darling drops onto Steam. Each game asks us to save some charred wasteland from a generic corruption. Cinderia presents itself as a dark fairytale. In this story, a witch burned the world.…
-
Reclaim! Azhe-giiwewining is a Brilliant Culture Shock
As an ESL teacher, I’ve always loved educational games. I am constantly fascinated by how their gameplay is designed to intrigue young minds and make them think outside the box. I realize not all share my sentiment and most absolutely hate those cursed memories of sitting in a dusty 1998 computer lab, forced to do…
